Saddest day..

Am so heartbroken and sad. Yesterday was a double mourning day. Early in the morning, as I login to my Facebook page, I saw many of my friends writing on a wall of a senior "RIP". This is 1 senior I can't really remember personally. But still, the pain is there. For she is a mother of 2, and she is only 1 year my senior. How are the little ones going to cope without mummy by their side?

Come evening, I sent a casual SMS to a close friend. She had just delivered her baby girl 4 days ago. Since she is trying hard at breastfeeding, this should be the day milk starts to (or already) come in for baby :) My SMS went "Yo apa macam? Milk in? Need help let me know. Dont paiseh" When her reply came..all I can do is cry. Her SMS read "I lost (baby's name) yesterday. Don't ask me why. She was cremated this afternoon. Let's pray together that she rest in peace". Baby was 3 days old.

The events yesterday made me realise just how fragile life can be. While I was busy complaining, some will be happy just to keep on living. While I complain how tired I was cause my baby won't sleep, there is a mother out there wishing her baby would "wake up". While I am busy wishing my baby will finish this feed soon, some mother out there wishes they have a baby they can nurse. While I nag how noisy my baby is, some mother will wish their baby can cry and make noise. When I am having backache from carrying my baby for too long, some mother just wishes they can cuddle their baby at this moment.

I must remind myself, how lucky am I. I have a healthy and happy baby. It doesn't matter he wakes up every 2 hours at night wanting a feed. It is ok that he takes 2 hours to hang on my boobies for a feed. It is my happiness that he wanted to be carried in the carrier and sleep with his head hanging, while drooling down my chest and sweating all over my belly. It is my pleasure to wipe his tiny ass full of poos and changing a fresh diaper. All these things, I have been taking for granted for the past 7 months. Things are going to change. I shall complain less. It is my blessings that I have a baby in my arm as I am typing this.

To my dear friend, please hang on tight. Please be strong. Buddha have another plan for your little girl. You are still young. Recuperate, then try again. We will always keep her in our mind. I may not have seen her in person, but I love her already. She will always be remembered. RIP.